This downloadable toolkit brings together a printable emotion wheel, the Needs Map, a reflection worksheet, and examples. The Emotion Word Finder also remains available separately online.
Emotion Word Finder: Emotions and Inner States
This page presents the Emotion Word Finder: Emotions and Inner States created for this project. Its printable version contains 99 words arranged in eleven petals and grouped into eight broad colour families. A linear text version is also available online to make the content easier to read on screen and on mobile devices.
You may know that something is affecting you without finding the words to describe it. This wheel offers words to try. You can choose several, use your own expression, or simply not know yet.
Begin with a specific situation. Then look through the words and ask yourself, “Does this feel close to what I am experiencing?” Choose the terms that fit today, even if they still seem approximate.
You can experience several emotions at once: joy and worry in the face of change; affection for someone and irritation about a situation; pride in an accomplishment and disappointment with an outcome.
To continue your reflection:
Situation → Clues → Possible emotions → Possible needs → A realistic next step
The wheel helps you look for words. The map on the next page helps you explore what matters to you in this situation.
The Needs Map
This page presents the Needs Map created for this project.
What matters to you in this situation? What is missing, seems threatened, or deserves to be protected?
Look through the groups below. Keep one or two possible needs, or add your own words. The categories may overlap; they are neither steps nor a hierarchy of priorities.
| Group | Needs to explore |
|---|---|
| Finding some breathing room | rest · respite · personal space · a sustainable pace |
| Relying on a more stable daily life | safety · predictability · sufficient resources · suitable living conditions |
| Finding your place with others | presence · belonging · consideration · reciprocity |
| Having a say | choice · room to manoeuvre · participation in decisions · respect for your limits |
| Seeing things more clearly | information · points of reference · understanding · coherence |
| Receiving support for what you carry | listening · practical help · shared responsibilities · recognition of your efforts |
| Making room for what gives you energy | enjoyment · learning · creativity · contribution |
One need can be met in different ways.
“I need some respite” leaves room for different possibilities. “I need this person to take care of every task tonight” already describes one specific response, which would need to take their availability and the context into account.
You can also recognize a need that is already being met and that you would like to preserve.
A short time for observation
Choose a recent situation that feels manageable enough to revisit. You can answer in a few words, skip a question, or return to the worksheet later.
1. The situation
What happened, concretely?
Describe a specific moment without immediately trying to explain the other person’s intentions.
My situation: __________________________________________________________
2. The clues
What do I notice?
This might be a physical sensation, a recurring thought, an urge to act, or a reaction. You do not need to notice physical sensations in order to continue.
My clues: ______________________________________________________________
3. Possible emotions
Which words seem close to what I am experiencing?
Use the wheel if it helps. Several words may fit. A physical clue does not, by itself, point to one specific emotion.
I may be feeling: ______________________________________________________
4. Possible needs
What matters to me here? What is missing, seems threatened, or deserves to be protected?
Use the map. Keep your answers as possibilities to explore.
I may need: _____________________________________________________________
Is this need currently receiving little, some, or enough attention?
________________________________________________________________________
5. A realistic next step
Given my situation, what small step could I consider?
It might be an action within your reach, a request, looking for a resource, setting a limit, or taking a pause.
My next possibility: ___________________________________________________
What could help me: ____________________________________________________
What could make this step more difficult: ______________________________
Bringing your answers together
If it helps, use one element from each of the previous sections:
“When [the specific situation], I notice [a thought, sensation, or reaction]. I may be feeling [one or two words from the wheel]. I may need [one or two words from the map]. As a next step, I could [one small, realistic action].”
You can leave some elements aside. This sentence is meant to organize your reflection; you do not have to recite it or share it with anyone else.
Examples and guideposts
The following situations are entirely fictional.
When responsibilities pile up
Situation: For the past three evenings, preparing the meal and cleaning up have fallen to me after my workday.
Clues: I sigh, answer sharply, and think, “I am not going to manage again tonight.”
Possible emotions: Irritation, discouragement.
Possible needs: Respite, shared responsibilities.
Possible next step: Simplify tonight’s meal, then ask for a time to review how tasks are divided: “Could we look together at what each of us can take on this week?”
This request opens a discussion. It does not guarantee an immediate agreement.
When loved ones are far away
Situation: Since moving, I keep in touch with my loved ones by message, but I often spend my evenings alone.
Clues: I wait for replies and want to share the small details of my day.
Possible emotions: Sadness, disappointment.
Possible needs: Presence, belonging.
Possible next step: Suggest a call with someone I trust or look into a local activity that interests me. I can choose just one possibility to begin with.
When something feels good
Situation: A teacher thanks me for my contribution to a team project.
Clues: I smile and want to continue with the project.
Possible emotions: Joy, pride, relief.
Needs that may be met: Recognition of my efforts, contribution.
Possible next step: Take a moment to receive this feedback and note what makes this collaboration satisfying.
The limits of these tools
- The suggested words do not cover every experience. Your vocabulary, culture, and context matter.
- The same emotion may be present alongside several needs. The same need may be associated with different emotions.
- An emotion does not prove another person’s intention.
- Recognizing a need does not mean that one particular person has to meet it.
- Some needs call for material resources, services, or changes in the environment. They do not depend on your efforts alone.
- You can stop the exercise if it becomes uncomfortable. Putting your experience into words does not guarantee immediate relief.
If what you are experiencing is taking up a great deal of space in your daily life, you can seek appropriate support. This toolkit offers general information and guideposts; it is not a test, diagnosis, or assessment of your situation.
Judy Turcotte, S.W.